Sunday, 31 January 2010
War on a Whim
War on a Whim
Do not entertain any alternatives to war.
Be polished; hone your obvious acting skills and make sure you are always well-rehearsed.
Mix up one full pail of pride and lace it with wishes for a future sense of achievement and national greatness. Madness helps. Believe in yourself.
Convince yourself that 9/11 was instigated by Saddam Hussein. Or rather convince others - you have already convinced yourself for the sake of convenience.
Spice the lies and sex them up as much as you can over the few months leading up to the invasion.
Keep the 45 minute mantra going, it will persuade the weak and scare out living daylights.
Hold private meetings away from Cabinet, exclude those in opposition to your plans. Some will resign anyway, some will die.
Disregard all international legal experts and most senior civil servants when they say military action is contrary to international law.
Override the rules of the United Nations Security Council at all stages. Call them ambiguous. Ignore the fact that there is no legal basis for regime change and send in the troops, however ill-prepared.
Play down any mass protests on the streets of Britain and abroad. People must not believe in such a thing as a democracy. Ignore all protest, your self-belief will hold the cake together, however fragile the base.
Come the invasion. Label it with shock and awe. Be macho. Swagger alongside the Bush man with your coat off, hands in pockets and shoulders wide.
Talking of Bush, keep all your correspondence with the man forever out of the public domain.
After it is cooked, ignore the burnings. Play down casualties, especially civilians, women, children and babies, young boy soldiers… and their mothers’ tears.
You will have to keep this up for years and years.
At any possible future enquiries spend your time arguing over pieces of paper. Bring your professional skills to bear here. You are so good at this you could win an Oscar.
Again ignore the tears and the anger of bereaved families by so doing.
Never feel, show or admit regret (this will come easy to you).
Remember that the law is always the law except in an imperialist’s war.
Above all never mention the O word (OIL).
Cait O’Connor 2010