Artist

Alexander Averin

Thursday, 23 October 2008

Nostalgia



A Strictly Tongue in Cheek look at Nostalgia


(This a fictional account of what happened when Cait last visited her GP.)


Picture the scene. My GP is looking not at me but at his computer screen and mentally setting a stopwatch maybe.

(How many seconds am I allowed for a consultation nowadays?).

DoctorKnowitall: Well Mrs Thinkyouknowbetter, what seems to be the trouble?

Cait: I might be wrong but lately I have been feeling what I think may be symptoms of nostalgia for the past, DoctorKnowitall, it seems all I want to dwell on are the happy times gone by; what has disappeared and never will be again, like the ‘lost’ childhood of my own children, how it passed far too quickly.

Even my old schooldays I am looking back on and yearning for.

I’m also getting what must be nostalgic pains over the Old Ireland that is gone, gone , gone.

And I’m playing my Beatles records over and over.

Sniff sniff.

It is so painful.

Tears start to fall.

Dr Knowitall fished out a tissue from the nearly empty box on his desk, passed it to me, smiled unfeelingly and then told me that I was not alone; he assured me it is a very common condition and he thrust a Patient Information Leaflet into my shaky hands:

Read this, keep a diary and come and see me if the trouble persists.

Oh and look out for these symptoms: Lack of regret, a joyful melancholy. Heartburning, attacks of Present Day ‘disheartenment’

(there’s a new word ?).

But don’t worry because if the heart becomes blocked a Peacemaker can be fitted.

(ref. The term Peacemaker - Pinched from my own very dear hero, Tony Benn. it is a family term apparently).

If Excessive Longing and Over-Sentimentality become too intense to bear then go straight to your local A & E because matters of regret may come to light at any time.


Cait: Eh? What A & E?

Dr Knowitall: What do you mean, it’s been closed? Phone ShropDoc.
But don’t forget to contact NHS Direct first! We don't want to waste doctors' time do we?



NOSTALGIA

PATIENT INFORMATION
LEAFLET


Nostalgia, found far too often among the jaundiced and the melancholic, is a little known psychological condition but one that can affect all the organs physically, mainly the heart where it can cause a weakness that varies in its effects among individuals. There is no scientific evidence as yet to say whether there is in fact a genetic predisposition but it is thought that it will affect one in three of us at some time in our lifetime.

It is presented most frequently by the elderly but the most common time of onset is middle age, long after the reproduction and parenting stage of life is over. It is interesting to note that in areas where peoples have been misplaced geographically then its incidence is much increased, among the diaspora of the world for example. It is rarely found in the young, hence the expression young at heart. It seems to be present in both sexes in equal measure.

The brain can sometimes be badly affected as well because it is too often overworked and stressed due to the intensity of the thoughts engendered on mind games and because it is often forgotten that pastime-travel is just as tiring as real-time travel. For this reason GP’s will often suggest patients throw away their rose tinted spectacles and their blinkers.

Also, as people age, the memory quite often shows signs of partial or complete failure.

(No? really?)

These symptoms worsen with age and the prognosis is therefore not good. There is no cure.

SYMPTOMS

Signs of yearning are always seen. Note these down in your daily diary. Raised levels are always a classic pointer to the condition.

TREATMENTS
.

Reminiscence therapy sessions of nostalgia-bombardment have been tried as an exercise in inducing boredom or resistance to the task - these traits being common in the elderly. It can work wonders! Remember, like almost everything else that we have to confront in life, this condition can also be seen in a positive light if one has the right attitude.

It’s good to talk. Group therapy has proved to be the best help of all. Most folk can find a likeminded soul in almost any social setting. Or in an online group. Genealogy sites are especially helpful.

TRIGGERS

Avoid old photographs like the plague, also old films and TV series,old friends and reunions of any kind. Old songs can prove fatal, especially if you are a child of the sixties.

(when life began as far as I am concerned).

Whooops I have digressed.

Back to it.

A life well spent with happy memories, especially those stemming from childhood are probably the most common triggers of this condition.

(I’ll be OK then!).

Time spent in a much-loved place is probably the second most common trigger. Indeed it has to be said that thoughts of Times Gone By are to be avoided at all costs as they are at the root of most outbreaks. Personal relationships play a great part - lost loves and the like. As does the total lack of the benefit that is hindsight and the sometime- blocking of regrets. Cognitive therapy classes may help here.

RESEARCH


Very little research has been carried out on the subject. So there is an opening here for the waste…. sorry investment, of masses of our, sorry…. government, money to tell us what we already know, sorry…publish new research findings.

Perhaps a charity could also be set up in its name? RSPN? If it made enough money it could always be invested overseas in a fail-safe high interest account? Somewhere very cold and inaccessible maybe? It would have to be kept secret though.

Whoops, I think I am digressing again.

STOP PRESS

As this leaflet was being printed, news has reached the NHS that the stress of modern life is bringing about a nostalgia epidemic and it is on a near-global scale. It seems everyone is ‘harking back’. (sounds painful).

Nostalgia is being hailed as the new ‘silent killer’.


LAST WORDS


Remember, try not to use nostalgia as an antidote to your disgust with present life as you know it.

Lament and disillusion may be antidotes but could prove fatal, they may even be a suicide risk.

SELF-HELP

Nostalgics Anonymous may be one to try. Look for a branch near you.
Or you could also start your own.

A plug here for my own book!

I live with a nostalgic and how I cope with it
100 Tips to prevent the condition affecting you as well


ALTERNATIVE TREATMENTS


Go down the pub, sink a few beers and just wallow.

Sing along to Bob Dylan singing the auld song

May You Stay Forever Young
.



Header picture, Connemara Farm is an oil painting by Elizabeth Ryan

13 comments:

Irene said...

Excellent post! I think I used to suffer from the condition quite badly to the detriment of my general state of mental health, but I have since been completely cured of it and have now become a complete cynic, which is maybe going overboard a little bit to the opposite side. I do recommend active intervention, however, and medication to cure the accompanying blues. It's done me a world of good.

Edward said...

This is top stuff - really beautifully done. But I wouldn't call it "tongue-in-cheek" - it's deadly serious!

Frances said...

Oh Cait, you have done it again, splendidly!

Having spent many hours yesterday with one of my favorite old friends, I have had my entire weekly, or perhaps even monthly, dose of nostalgia. It was marvelous. What I now want to do is to implant yesterday's beautiful weather, lunch and walk into my "current" brain file.

Hoping that I will do some painting today, so that painting won't just be contained in my nostalgic file.

xo

TOM FOOLERY said...

Cait, you're soooo funny what a witty post. Alcohol and Bob Dylan a great mix in my book TFx

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

So. That's what wrong with me. It's those Beatle songs that finally tipped me off!

CAMILLA said...

Dear Cait,

Apologies for stopping by late, yet again a wonderful post.

I tend to harper on the nostalgic side of life, the beautiful moments of long ago, do not want to let go somehow.

Bob Dylan wih Alcohol, that sounds like my kinda remedy.

xx

Pondside said...

Group therapy - that's the ticket. That and the alcohol and Beatles and Bob Dylan.

Fire Byrd said...

You mean the summers weren't always sunny, and the winters weren't all crisp and frosty... oh no I'll have to go take another pill of realism.
Brilliant stuff Cait love the bit about investing in banks in far away places, it's a wonder no-ones thought of it before!!!

elizabethm said...

First rate blog Cait. I always thought I was immune but I was only young!

Elizabeth said...

Oh boy, have you hit it on the head - I dwell in the past far too much.
However I liked your lively take on this miserable condition.
glad to have found your blog.
ps I spend my time writing stories set in the really-very -dull 1950's......!

Fennie said...

What's wrong with the past I'd like to know. I have a nostalgia for the eighteenth century. So does the Queen. On her jubilee she left an 18C house in an 18C carriage, accompanied soldiers dressed in 18C uniforms, up an 18C avenue to an 11C Cathedral to listen to 18C anthems. never mind Bob Dylan - what about Handel and Mozart?

Sally's Chateau said...

Noooooooo not alcohol and Bob Dylan together, I agree with Edward, this is deadly serious stuff and beautifully written.

ed said...

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