Alexander Averin

Saturday 11 October 2014

From Cait - An Update

In the Golden Days
John Melhuish Strudwick

Just to update you dear friends,

(This was written yesterday).

I feel better now as I have come to a decision not to have the palliative chemotherapy which was an option for me. As I have had chemo before I always swore I wouldn't go through it again - I would if it was curative of course, I am always a fighter - but I want to enjoy the days I have left and not be suffering the terrible side effects. The decision was a hard one though and made me quite anxious as I kept wavering between having the chemo and not, I guess that deep down I was worried about what the family might feel but they completely understand my decision and are very supportive.

Luckily my dear GP visited me two days ago put into words exactly what I was feeling in my heart - he agreed with my decision and now I feel as if a heavy burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I had also been feeling unwell and it turned out that I had a urinary infection, I am on antibiotics now which have made me feel so much better, I was almost tempted to go out and do some garden tidying this morning!

A lovely Macmillan nurse visited today, they really are angels. My sister sent me a beautiful moth orchid plant, my GP sent me a touching personal letter and more cards arrived. My daughter visited, I 'spoke' online to my son, I received emails and messages from friends. A good day.

And thank you Purplecoo members and fellow bloggers who have been sending their healing energies and offering up prayers in various ways.

I have to say that all this and the 'purple blanket' (and the 'purple cloak',which I often wear) are an amazing comfort, I can feel their power around me. I am blessed to have so many of you as friends even though we may have never met.xx

Go mbeannai dia duit,



Teresa Evangeline said...

Dear sweet Cait, my best thoughts and prayers are with you ... always

Mac n' Janet said...

Oh Cait, my heart goes out to you and my prayers. What a hard decision to have to make. Know that you're in thoughts of many and we will carry your memory and the beautiful poems you introduced me to.

Anonymous said...

Dear Cait, I have often wondered what I would do if I ever found myself in your position, and I suspect I would do as you are doing. I watched my father have all the treatments going for cancer when he was unwell with it and towards the end of his time he decided enough was enough and stopped all of them. You are an incredibly brave woman and I salute you. I will keep sending you healing and want you to know how much I love seeing your photographs and reading your poems. Bless you x

DAB said...

Sending my love and prayers to you Cait TFx

The bike shed said...

I'm glad you are at peace with your decision. Reminds me of Emily Dickinson..
'That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet'

My very best wishes.

ds said...

Ohhhh, Cait! You are so brave. Thank you for your wonderful poems and photos, the wonder that you introduced me to (even if you did not realize it). My heart is with you. Namaste.

Frances said...

Dear Cait, please know that I continue to send love to you, and thank you for this updating post.

How I regret that I am on the other side of the Atlantic and am not able to speak to you in person. I would love to hear you read your poems in your own voice. When I read them, I hear my own voice, and tyr to imagine the sound of yours.

Whichever voice carries the sound, may I again tell you what a fine poet you are.

Do you remember when I thanked you again and again for having Instant Karma on your virtual jukebox? I smile to think of those early blogging days and think how truly I value our continuing to stay in touch over the years.

Cait, you are the poet, and I expect by now you've perhaps smiled a bit at my poor efforts here to express myself. Perhaps, even with my clumsy efforts, you can still see the message of love that I send you.


Chris Stovell said...

Sending you love and best wishes, Chrisxx

Elizabeth said...

Dear Cait,
How wise you are and how right.
Do try to do a little garden tidying if you feel up to it.
Your poems are wonderful, thoughtful and lovely.
I echo Frances's sentiments exactly.
Hooray for MacMillan nurses. They do a wonderful job.
I have sent a donation to them in your name.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you Cait. Take care of yourself.

Reading Tea Leaves said...

Oh Cait ... I'm so sorry to read this news about your cancer. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I fully understand your reasons for taking the difficult decision regarding chemo.

I had a cancer scare earlier in the year and thankfully am well now. My heart goes out to you .....

Be kind to yourself my dear.


Kay G. said...

Hello Cait,
As I am typing this, I can only see a bit of the last comment above and it says, "Be kind to yourself my dear". I would like to echo that thought.
Be at peace.

Posie said...

Cait, sending huge purple hugs and blessings to you xx

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

My dearest Cait,
I am so sorry it is your turn to walk this path. You will be in my prayers, for the unique peace and wisdom that visits the soul in times such as this. I pray you are cognizant of the love that surrounds you throughout this great mystery. I love you and wish Edward and I lived close enough to knock on your door this afternoon.
Your friend, Pamela

Susan Anderson said...

Only you can know what is right for you, and I'm glad you were able to honor that. I'm also glad your GP validated that decision.

All I can send is prayers, but you have them. My wish for you is many more "good days," and I sense that you will live them as fully as possible.

Your grace is teaching me today.


donna baker said...

It is a path we all must walk one day. I applaud your decision. Though it must have been hard, it really is the quality of life that is important. I will always remember your bravery.

Susan Moorhead said...

Prayers and best thoughts winging your way.

Friko said...

Cait, dear Cait. You made the right decision.
I am so very sorry that you had to make it.

Love and best wishes. xx

A Cuban In London said...

Thanks for the update. It's good to hear from you and thanks for your comment on my blog.

I notice that you are reading Colm Toibin. What's he like? I read his article in The Guardian's Review on how he wrote Nora Webster and the inspiration behind it. I must admit that I find his non-fiction writing beautiful. He is so articulate and coherent. I've never read any fiction by him, but I am tempted.

Greetings from London.

Rob-bear said...

It seems like you made a very good decision. Wonderful.

And there are lots of us who will walk with you day by day, so you'll not be alone.

Blessings and Bear hugs!