Dear Cait, Aged 13, The Adopted Child

Dear Cait, I hope you will heed my advice and trust me because only I understand how lost, isolated and ‘different’ you feel. I do understand the reasons behind your shyness, your reserve. When you came into this world you chose a difficult path, but keep in mind that suffering will bring you inner strength and spiritual growth. Hang in there, things will get better once you discover who you are. NEVER GIVE UP searching, but I don’t need to say those three words to you do I? Nothing in life matters. Only love. Always remember this. The Beatles will be saying it soon in a song, I know you are a great fan of theirs. Don’t get hung up on any ‘small stuff’. Only kindness matters, (that too will be a song title one day!). Treat others as you would like to be treated. Believe in yourself, You are beautiful and clever, even if no-one has ever told you so. Don’t worry about doing well in every subject at school, if you hate science, maths, geography, history, hockey, so what? (At least history will become fascinating when you are my age). You have been lucky enough to pass the eleven-plus and go to a good school. Enjoy the many things you will learn there.. You will also leave being able to write proper English (having learned to read, spell and recite your tables prior to getting there). These basic skills are sadly lacking nowadays. Devote your life to your passions. ‘Follow your bliss’ as they say. You are becoming a teenager at a very exciting time. Everything is changing, exploding even; the class system, music, art, fashion, politics, sexual liberation……there may not be a time of such positivity again in this country, so make the most of it. I know you love music and that it has saved you, along with your books of course. They will both be your lifelong companions. Keep writing. Cultivate your psychic gifts, don’t hide them away. Always trust your intuition. I know you have no confidence at all and you feel terribly self-conscious all the time; this will pass and when you are my age you won’t give a damn what anyone else thinks. Stop hiding your body. Don’t worry about being painfully thin and having such long and skinny legs, for very soon it will be in fashion! I know you love babies and children, one day you will become a mother and it will be the happiest day of your life. You will be a grandmother one day too and that will bring you such joy, I cannot tell you. There will always be a guardian angel or two watching over you, along with our dear Irish mother. Make the most of every moment and focus on the positive. Turn every negative into a positive; it is possible. Don’t dread getting middle-aged or even old. The best is yet to come. Go mbeannai Dia duit, All my love, Caitx
PS I see you are reading Germaine Greer's The Female Eunuch, I warn you, it will change your life!