Recession

Modern capitalism needs men who cooperate smoothly and in large numbers; who want to consume more and more; and whose tastes are standardized and can be easily influenced and anticipated ... what is the outcome? Modern man is alienated from himself, from his fellow man and from nature.

Erich Fromm

Wisdom for the Soul

Autumn’s recession

Multitudes of leaves today are drifting overhead,

as atmospheric pressure rises in its wicked worldlike way

En masse they hover, swirling, helpless, carried on the wind

and too soon reach the highway, so alive with all its busyness.

The strong survive, the others chance to fate

and play a game of Russian Roulette as they cross

as the slowest  in their weaker currency of air

soon trip, with many bound to fall.

These scrape across the tarmac noisily and become too quickly crushed,

while the others, high flyers in the land of leafdom,

still soar with ease and they can only laugh,

as they coolly reach the other side

to land upon a listening bank of green that wears a welcome smile.

Secure, untouchable, as they always were

when fixed so high upon the branches in their tree;

those lucky leaves whose hue is painted  precious gold,

will live entirely free of penalty or pain of death

or such an  undeserv`ed poverty.

Cait O’Connor

Kitty

Dear Diary,

I'll start with one of my favourite quotations on the subject of success and which has nothing to do with the acquisition of money.

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have been enjoying listening to Irish radio a lot recently and it is great to get a feel of what is going on in my spiritual home even though I can't actually live there. Living in the wild hills of Wales as I do, I find that I can get a better reception for Irish radio than for British and it is very easy just to switch over the wavelengths from Radio 4 so that it will go straight onto RTE.  I love Radio 4 of course, couldn't live without it to be honest -  but if I fancy a change or there is a programme I don't enjoy I switch over.  I do enjoy the laid back Irish way of broadcasting. Nothing and no-one is rushed, conversations seem to go on for ever but are never boring, there is no sense of urgency or clock-watching, all is intelligent and covered in depth and there is of course much attention to all things literary, political, local, personal, sporting etc.  As a broadcaster on Radio 4 said recently (she also admitted listening to Irish radio at home! - people always sound as if they have just wandered into a pub or something and it is all so relaxed.  I listen to the Today programme on Radio 4 every morning but lately it is driving me mad the way everything is so much more 'rushed' (especially the weather!)  and the way the interviewers interrupt so much (not John Humphreys but Sara someoneorother does this a lot. 

Continuing the Irish theme here is a poem from the wonderful Irish poetry publisher Salmon, the book is A Journey in Poetry 1981-2007 and the poem is about a border collie (the poet is American).  

There is a photo of my border collie above; her name is Kitty not Kilty Sue but I have to admit that when she was young she did have a very slight  tendency to behave a bit like Kilty Sue.  She is a reformed character now though and perfectly well-behaved though I sometimes think she too has the look of of a slightly retarded devil-dog (or as I say probably an inbred one!).

Kilty Sue

Instincts jammed by lack of sheep

in this region, she attends to babies, ducklings-

anything small and in need of care.

A border collie whose eyes, opposite

shades of brown, offer the look

of a slightly retarded devil-dog.  And

if you must know, she bites people:

my brother presumably because he was mean

to me at a younger age; the UPS man

because he carried a package too quickly towards

my pregnant sister; my mother-in-law, I suppose,

to keep in shape.  And various relatives

and strangers – Kilty Sue reminds them

of the precise location of the Achilles tendon.

Mind you, she never actually rips it out,

but merely offers a sharp touch.  Like a pin-prick,

only deeper, her bites spring out

from a sudden vortex of silence.  When Kilty Sue howls –

in a voice high and piercing as a drunken soprano,

and you wish your ears would just drop off and die –

you are safe.  She is  protecting you.

Marck L Beggs

Bye for now,

Go mbeannai Dia duit,

Cait

Butterflies and Hibernation

Nothing changes until you do.

Anon

Dear Diary,

I love this painting.

Blue Morpho butterfly

Martin Johnson

http://www.paintinghere.com/

I read an interesting blog post about butterflies here and it coincided with me already having decided to write today about two Red Admirals that are hibernating in my bedroom of all places. We lived in an old Welsh farmhouse before we lived here in our little riverside cottage and the odd Red Admiral would often appear flying around inside that home during the winter. The first time one appeared coincided with a family bereavement and I was convinced it was their spirit – they are reputed to be spirits of the dead if they are indoors – perhaps they are, who knows?

As I lay in bed the other morning I looked up to the beams in the corner of my little bedroom and saw an unusual sight, not one but two butterflies cwched up closely on the beam together (Welsh word meaning snuggled). The following morning one had moved a little bit lower down (had they fallen out?) but lo and behold by the evening the other one had moved down to join the other and they were close again. Could they wake up and go back to sleep? I have no idea how hibernation works but it often appeals to me in the depth of Winter, usually in December around Christmas time……..(bah Humbug)….

I researched online what I should do if I find a butterfly hibernating in the house and it seemed to say that I should move it outside to somewhere ‘safe’ where birds can’t find it, not too cold, not too warm, it all sounded rather impossible to me so for now I am leaving them. One site suggested making up some nectar (?) and feeding them before I put them outside to sustain them through the cold weather. And apparently when they do wake they will be hungry and there will be no food for them in the cottage. I think when they wake I will put them outside then; I hope I am doing the best thing.

I grew up in South London and don’t remember seeing many butterflies to be honest but I always had the impression that butterflies only lived for two days, where that came from I don’t know but it stayed with me nearly all my life until I found out it was not true - just another childhood illusion shattered.

I shall leave you with a poem by the late John O’Donoghue. Its title is November and the theme is the coldness and melancholy of the season and I feel a need for ‘hibernation’ within it.

However it may be November but today it is so warm that I have no heating on at all so the poem does not really fit the day or my mood. They tell me colder weather is on its way but I am making the most of these balmy, happy days for even the sun is shining now…..the rain showers have passed away from us. I very much hope all is fine with you too, in every way.



November



November’s hunger strips the fields, its thin light

rifles the web and warmth of every nest

allows the cold day to invade each secret,

absolves the ghosts of leaf that outlast autumn.


Now I can depend less and less on the grace

of spontaneity, talk quickly tires,

words become contrived, as they eyes of others

notice my mind unravel in this sallow light.


Intense with silence my room waits for me,

the paintings and open books grown distant,

its window one huge eye on the tree outside;

in the mirror the glimpse of my face draws tears.



John O’Donoghue



Bye for now,

Cait.

The Touchstone

The Lady
John William Waterhouse

You are not enclosed within your bodies nor confined to houses or fields. That which is you dwells above the mountain and roves with the winds.

Kahlil Gibran

The Touchstone

On Samhain’s night by a waxing moon

the veil was thin, the spirits drew near,

their music was heard in rocks, deep as a drum

beating hard and true against my heart.

I felt them in the Irish mountain rains

whose clouds I follow keenly, like a nun.

I saw them too in the embers of my hearth

and in the candle’s flame.

Today, I scry in my crystal ball

on an Indian summer’s morn,

my tiny cottage windows are open wide.

and sylphs rush in on the breeze.

I pass my dreams to them,

attaching a prayer of hope

that Truth will always prevail,

far and wide, way above treetops.

My dreams can fly with joy

but should they ever fall in pain

I know they will reform

by magic and by alchemy

to form a sacred touchstone for my soul.

Cait O’Connor



Samhain 2011

The Crystal Ball

John William Waterhouse

I woke in bits, like all children, piecemeal over the years. I discovered myself and the world, and forgot them, and discovered them again.

Anne Dillard

Dear Diary,

Being at home off sick now I have taken to searching my own bookshelves for reading matter and I found Anne Dillard's Pilgrim at Tinker Creek to read again and am also re-reading all my John O'Donohue books, both newly discovered finds which are such a joy to read.  What would you seek out from your own bookshelves?

I am listening to a lot of Radio 4 and this morning I enjoyed the first part of Jeanette Winterson's memoir Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal as it is the Book of the Week. The adoption aspect is close to my heart so perhaps I get even more from it but she is such a great writer (and poet).

On Sunday morning I heard Will Self's A Point of View about the arms trade (and more); what a fine piece that was. Details are below if you would like to hear it.

Will Self A Point of View Arms Trade

Duration: 11 minutes

Will Self deplores the arms trade and Britain's role in it, including the sale of weapons to authoritarian regimes which abuse human rights

Listen Again or on Podcast

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/console/b01694p0

Anyway enough of the present for you surely know that it is Samhain/ Halloween and the veil between this world and the next is at its thinnest so all our ancestors will be at their closest.

I for one will be out tonight and hopefully there will be sweet moonlight to ride by..........................................

Here is a poem that fits the occasion. 

Sweet dreams.......

Echo

Come to me in the silence of the night;

Come in the speaking silence of a dream;

Come with soft rounded cheeks and eyes as bright

As sunlight on a stream;

Come back in tears,

O memory, hope, love of finished years.

Oh dream how sweet, too sweet, too bitter-sweet,

Whose wakening should have been in Paradise,

Where souls brim-full of love abide and meet;

Where thirsting longing eyes

Watch the slow door

That opening, letting in, lets out no more.

Yet come to me in dreams, that I may live

My very life again though cold in death:

Come back to me in dreams, that I may give

Pulse for pulse, breath for breath:

Speak low, lean low,

As long ago, my love, how long ago.

Christina Rossetti

Michael D Higgins

Michael D Higgins

 

So Ireland has a new president. The marvellous Mary Mcaleese who has been such an excellent representative of Ireland will indeed be a very hard act to follow but I was pleased to hear that Michael D Higgins has been elected and by such a huge margin. Perhaps it could only happen in Ireland that a poet could be a President though he is much more than that of course but it did make me happy to learn that he is one. He is also decribed as being without charisma - don't you just love that? And he is seventy years old to boot.   He is a proper socialist, an anti-war campaigner and a fighter for human rights and I particularly loved his statement that he wants to 'create an intellectual space' in our dear country.  God bless him.

Here is one of his poems.

When Will My Time Come?


When will my time come for scenery

And will it be too late?

After all

Decades ago I was never able

To get excited

About filling the lungs with ozone

On Salthill Prom.

And when the strangers

To whom I gave a lift

Spoke to me of the extraordinary

Light in the Western sky;

I often missed its changes.

And, later, when words were required

To intervene at the opening of Art Exhibitions,

It was not the same.

What is this tyranny of head that stifles

The eyes, the senses,

All play on the strings of the heart.

And, if there is a healing,

It is in the depth of a silence,

Whose plumbed depths require

A journey through realms of pain

That must be faced alone.

The hero, setting out,

Will meet an ally at a crucial moment.

But the journey home

Is mostly alone.

When my time comes

I will have made my journey

And through all my senses will explode

The evidence of light

And air and water, fire and earth.



Michael D Higgins

Samhain approaches

Friday already, this week is really flying as I will be in a few days when I have prepared my besom.

Today, after a slight frost overnight the sun is shining and the magical low lying mist has lifted.  I am taking gentle little walks with the dogs every day to fill my lungs with our pure Welsh air.  It is such a beautiful day and very well-deserved as yesterday was not just wet but was a dull, dull, dull dark and dreary grey all day.

Isn't it funny how sunshine lifts everyone's spirits so? It must be a light thing, perhaps we truly are drawn to the light.

I am reminded that Halloween is approaching; my grandchildren are getting excited and have been busy carving huge orange pumpkins. I am still not yet inspired to write myself but I am following dear Exmoor Jane's advice to just be and to watch the raindrops on the windows, we get plenty of those. Anyways I have found a poem for you, a contemporary one written in 2001 by a poet unknown to me. The Internet is wonderful in the way it introduces me to poets and poems I might otherwise miss. This poem is not a very happy one so does not fit the mood of the day and for that I apologise.


Dispatch from the Home Front:


Halloween 2001




like every other year I sit outside with a guitar

while kids roam in small packs

from lit door to lit door



the costumes tonight are not that frightening



angels and fairies and superheroes abound

a few bloodsuckers and ghouls

a sprinkling of skeletons

no terrorists



the adults pretend to be scared



jessie (the giraffe from across the street)

solemnly hands me M & Ms from her stash

when I put the Snickers in her pumpkin

“honey,” I tell her

“it’s not a trade – it‘s a gift”

and she solemnly takes them back



the young girl in the bathrobe and curlers

wearing the sign that says

I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON

says to me

“I want to hear you play your prettyful music”



so

I hand her candy

and I pick up my guitar

to play a song appropriate to the season

(a song by the Grateful Dead)

for this world’s recent ghosts



this world

where unimaginable ashes

sift down on children’s beds



in one part of this world

the very rocks and baseballs

smell of abrasives, jet fuel, burning rubber, corpses



in another part of this world

they are making the mail glow white

long enough to kill what lives on the words



in another part of this world

this guitar would be

illegal



in that country a shrouded woman

has been carefully picking food from a minefield

(food that was air dropped in my name)



she runs and lifts her child from the ground

raising his head high up onto her shoulder

vainly trying to keep the frightening blood from spilling too much



it will take her years to fall asleep again



when she does fall asleep

she will dream of picking up a yellow bomblet

wrapping it in swaddling clothes

suckling it until it blooms hot and bright



but she will not cry

as she holds him in that dream



we all dream that dream these days

we all hold our children closer

while holding back tears



a dream like that

is not a gift

it is a trade

we have all already given

more than enough in return for this one

and you do not let go of your tears

when tears are all you have left

Halloween night

I am pushing aside the veil between the worlds

a mourning person waiting for dawn

pretending to be scared to cover real fear

while I give sweets and prettyful music

to my neighbors’children



we are all a long way from home



if I knew the way

I would take you home

Tony Brown
________________________________________

Tony Brown is a poet, publisher & host of the long-running Poets Asylum reading series at the Java Hut in Worcester, Massachusetts. You can find more of his work online at the Open Mike Poetry site.

Oatmeal and Inspiration

Dear Diary,


Thank you for your good wishes in the comments, they mean a lot to me.


After having been really rather ill I am convalescing slowly and feeling a little stronger each day; I am eating well on a strict low-fat diet and though I am weak my body is feeling strangely well on it. I should be feeling even better when my gall-bladder is taken from me – please let it be soon.


All that’s missing is creative inspiration, I have none at all and feel quite bereft because of it so all I can post for you is a poem I heard on Radio 4’s Poetry Please on Sunday afternoon. It’s by Galway Kinnell and is called Oatmeal. Perhaps it struck a chord with me because I too eat oatmeal every morning and also eat it alone. I have never dreamed up an imaginary companion though as I am not a morning person, I love to be solitary and do not like to converse with anyone if I can help it.


I hope you enjoy the poem too – and pray tell me …….who would your imaginary companion be at breakfast time?

And please do tell me how I can get my inspiration back?



Oatmeal



I eat oatmeal for breakfast

I make it on the hot plate and put skimmed milk on it.

I eat it alone.

I am aware it is not good to eat oatmeal alone.

Its consistency is such that is better for your mental health

if somebody eats it with you.

That is why I often think up an imaginary companion to have

breakfast with.

Possibly it is even worse to eat oatmeal with an imaginary

companion.

Nevertheless, yesterday morning, I ate my oatmeal porridge,

as he called it with John Keats.

Keats said I was absolutely right to invite him:

due to its glutinous texture, gluey lumpishness, hint of slime,

and unusual willingness to disintegrate, oatmeal should

not be eaten alone.

He said that in his opinion, however, it is perfectly OK to eat

it with an imaginary companion, and that he himself had

enjoyed memorable porridges with Edmund Spenser and John

Milton.

Even if eating oatmeal with an imaginary companion is not as

wholesome as Keats claims, still, you can learn something

from it.

Yesterday morning, for instance, Keats told me about writing the

"Ode to a Nightingale."

He had a heck of a time finishing it those were his words "Oi 'ad

a 'eck of a toime," he said, more or less, speaking through

his porridge.

He wrote it quickly, on scraps of paper, which he then stuck in his

pocket,

but when he got home he couldn't figure out the order of the stanzas,



and he and a friend spread the papers on a table, and they

made some sense of them, but he isn't sure to this day if

they got it right.

An entire stanza may have slipped into the lining of his jacket

through a hole in his pocket.

He still wonders about the occasional sense of drift between stanzas,

and the way here and there a line will go into the

configuration of a Moslem at prayer, then raise itself up

and peer about, and then lay \ itself down slightly off the mark,

causing the poem to move forward with a reckless, shining wobble.

He said someone told him that later in life Wordsworth heard about

the scraps of paper on the table, and tried shuffling some

stanzas of his own, but only made matters worse.

I would not have known any of this but for my reluctance to eat oatmeal

alone.

When breakfast was over, John recited "To Autumn."

He recited it slowly, with much feeling, and he articulated the words

lovingly, and his odd accent sounded sweet.

He didn't offer the story of writing "To Autumn," I doubt if there

is much of one.

But he did say the sight of a just-harvested oat field got him started

on it, and two of the lines, "For Summer has o'er-brimmed their

clammy cells" and "Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours,"

came to him while eating oatmeal alone.

I can see him drawing a spoon through the stuff, gazing into the glimmering

furrows, muttering.

Maybe there is no sublime; only the shining of the amnion's tatters.

For supper tonight I am going to have a baked potato left over from lunch

I am aware that a leftover baked potato is damp, slippery, and simultaneously

gummy and crumbly, and therefore I'm going to invite Patrick Kavanagh

to join me.



Galway Kinnell



About his work, Liz Rosenberg wrote in the Boston Globe: "Kinnell is a poet of the rarest ability, the kind who comes once or twice in a generation, who can flesh out music, raise the spirits and break the heart."


Bye for now,

Cait

A poem

Sorry I have been off the radar for a while; I have had a spell in hospital as I was taken ill quite suddenly. Am on the mend now but waiting for a little operation some time soon (I hope). Times like this makes one appreciate friendship and quite coincidentally, among the doom, gloom and despair that seems to dominate the news these days I heard this poem on Radio 4's Today programme in the Thought for the Day slot.

Really bad news yesterday was hearing that Alan Bennett and the protestors have lost the fight to save Brent libraries from closure.  Sad news indeed.

Anyway here is the poem.



Friendship



Such love I cannot analyse;


it does not rest in lips or eyes,

neither in kisses nor caress,

partly, I know, it’s gentleness



And understanding in one word

or in brief letters. It’s preserved

by trust and by respect and awe.

These are the words I’m feeling for.



Two people, yes, two lasting friends.

The giving comes, the taking ends.

There is no measure for such things.

For this all Nature slows and sings.



Elizabeth Jennings

A Sad Day

Dear Diary,

Try never to count the days,try instead to make the days count.

It is a sad day here in Wales as we have now heard that the fourth missing miner has now been found dead so that is now all four men who have tragically lost their lives as a result of flood water underground.

All over the country everyone's thoughts and hearts are with the bereaved families of the men whose lives were lost.

May God rest their souls.

Just a poem tonight and it seems to fit the mood.

Amber

It never mattered that there was once a vast grieving:
trees on their hillsides, in their groves, weeping—
a plastic gold dropping
through seasons and centuries to the ground—
until now.


On this fine September afternoon from which you are absent
I am holding, as if my hand could store it,
an ornament of amber
you once gave me.


Reason says this:
The dead cannot see the living.
The living will never see the dead again.


The clear air we need to find each other in is
gone forever, yet
this resin once
collected seeds, leaves and even small feathers as it fell
and fell
which now in a sunny atmosphere seem as alive as
they ever were
as though the past could be present and memory itself


a Baltic honey—
a chafing at the edges of the seen, a showing off of just how much
can be kept safe
inside a flawed translucence.






Eavan Boland

Just a picture and a poem

Autumn leaves - Millais

West Virginia – A Life



Once a cog state,

good for only coal and oil and gas,

it was always almost heaven to me.

I sit out this lifetime on my porch now;

my dreams are ancient mountains,

cool trout waters, may apples and black walnuts

white pine and willow, sycamore.

Our old log cabin in the wildwoods,

my one-room school, a walking bridge,

grapevines over rivers, skimming stones.

Winter and I are kin now;

where once was warmth, sub-tropical and kind,

there’s only snow, bone-seeping ice, so cruelly cold.

I seek my solace in the Appalachian Fall,

its radiant colours lift me somewhere high,

a place near heaven, bright and God-given.

I still hear music in my heart,

the fiddlers and the balladeers, they move me

with their tunes of joy, laments of pain,

and strains of Ireland in their tears



Cait O’Connor

Hard Times

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Oscar Fingal O'Flaherty Wills Wilde 1854-1900

Philip Pullman's Speech

Leave the libraries alone. You don’t understand their value. Blog False Economy


This is something that should be read by all who love books, all who love libraries.

Read and pass it on if you are moved by Philip Pullman's heartfelt speech.

Hope

Hope -  The artist is George Frederick Watts RA

1817-1904

This is Barack Obama's favourite painting and I have to say I love it very much too.

Hope




Hope lives in silence,

his face so often obscured

in low-slung shadows, esconced in sunbeams.

Such peace; like a silent order, save for birdsong

and its new day’s heartfelt repetitions.

Yesterday a white down feather lay upon a loved one’s shoulder,

while a black cat slinked, ghost-like, past French windows in our view;

(today, two magpies graze the garden).

Late, summer-scented, sudden and secret, a swift rain shower descends,

falling vertically, innocently unaware, unabashed by the sunlight

which is understated; warm but not yet bright.

Verging on unnoticed, to me it is a treasure,

unfolding a promise of persistence.

Positivity comes as its gift, unwrapping itself

in an August rainbow, just for you and me,

something you might dream of in some future winter.



Cait O’Connor

Jorg Luis Borges, the Argentine poet.........

You've probably seen on the Google home page that it is his 112th birthday today;  here is one of his quotes and a sweetish poem. I think I have blogged a poem by him in a previous post but my Google (blog) Search button is not working for me. Perhaps some kind soul could check and see if it works for you? My new computer has a mind of it's own, has teamed up with Google Blogger and both seem intent on forbidding.

Anyone else hate Windows 7?

The truth is that we live out our lives putting off all that can be put off; perhaps we all know deep down that we are immortal and that sooner or later all men will do and know all things.

Jorge Luis Borges (1899-1986), Argentinian author. "Funes the Memorious," Labyrinths (1964).

Anyone else had that feeling?

Here is the poem. 

Instants



If I could live again my life,

In the next - I'll try,

- to make more mistakes,

I won't try to be so perfect,

I'll be more relaxed,

I'll be more full - than I am now,

In fact, I'll take fewer things seriously,

I'll be less hygienic,

I'll take more risks,

I'll take more trips,

I'll watch more sunsets,

I'll climb more mountains,

I'll swim more rivers,

I'll go to more places - I've never been,

I'll eat more ice creams and less (lime) beans,

I'll have more real problems - and less imaginary

ones,

I was one of those people who live

prudent and prolific lives -

each minute of his life,

Of course that I had moments of joy - but,

if I could go back I'll try to have only good moments,
If you don't know - thats what life is made of,

Don't lose the now!
I was one of those who never goes anywhere

without a thermometer,

without a hot-water bottle,

and without an umberella and without a parachute,
If I could live again - I will travel light,

If I could live again - I'll try to work bare feet

at the beginning of spring till

the end of autumn,

I'll ride more carts,

I'll watch more sunrises and play with more children,

If I have the life to live - but now I am 85,

- and I know that I am dying ...



Jorge Luis Borges

Anyone else think this poem reminds them of another one?

Where has all the good news gone?

Where has all the good news gone?




It’s the shy but gifted child at the back of the classroom

who was cradled in compromise,

knows the truth, has all the answers

but simply cannot raise her hand.

It’s what God would bring, or the angels,

but the mouths of the media,

brought up on the bad

are too often gagged or censored.

It blows in on the wind sometimes, unbidden;

and before we have time to prepare, it will circle a room

looking for the best place to land.

It hovers; rearranging, repositioning,

raising energies, brightening auras.

refuting all that’s gone before.

Exploding, it exposes our cynicism,

despairing of our apathy,

knowing it will lead to anarchy.

Wanting to embrace you, it will instead shake you,

will move you and change you.

It’s what we should all try to seek

every damned minute.

It’s in this poem trying to speak.

You may have given up on it.

But you deserve it.

You deserve it.



Cait O’Connor

High Haf

Picture by Gayle Murphy

 

High Haf




You deceived me with your promises

of bright, warm days and long, light nights.

How could you.

We were to fly among the hills

and walk through new warm sea;

instead I emerge like a pit pony

into the coal-black afternoon.

You have done this before,

but I am soft and need your touch

yet you tease me with trailers of might be

you advertise so well it is a pity

you have nothing to sell.

You are the summer love:

Transient, naïve and remembered

with distorted fondness.



Christopher Challener

10 metaphors for a Friday

10 metaphors for a Friday

Rosebuds sigh pure innocence

Extroversion, the ever open door

Patience is a collared dove

Summer, a smile

Autumn, first chill

Winter, a death

Spring, the rebirth

Seasons fit my moods.

Days are lifetimes.

Tears are a well

Cait O’Connor



For a brilliant article on the riots go to Peter Oborne's article in the Telegraph.



Just for Once

Dingle Cottage by renowned artist Ellen Lefrak

Just for Once

Just for once let me reveal what holds me here in this cottage, once a blacksmith’s home and now my would-be hermit’s abode where I live, dream and write in such sweet seclusion.

It is a cerise and blue sunrise that calls me, drawing me from my bed to meet the day anew while all is fresh and free of Man’s contamination. All is still quiet, there are no jarring sounds, no ringing phone, no bad news on the radio; none of modern life’s stressful interruptions.

Just for once the cottage wakes on a summer morning clean and bright and smiling broadly. Each of its little corners warm from the rays of the sun and all the surfaces shining having been polished to a fault. There are jugs of roses and sweet peas, both scented, new novels in piles, their worlds waiting to be lost in The crystals hanging in the windows reflect the sun and cast rainbows round the room (we call them fairies or angels ); there are the cherished little treasures hanging from brass hooks on ancient oak beams, beams which once framed the finest British sailing ships of old. What stories could they tell?

The white cat is home from a night’s hunting, she lies on a windowsill; birdwatching is her favourite pastime. The two dogs mill about, eager to go outside, their excitement at the thought of tasting the new day is contagious. I don outdoor shoes and throw on a cape over my night-wear. No-one will see me thus attired. I venture out.

As I stand and watch the river I cannot keep from singing. The river plays its melodies and little white horses race across stones. There is much life in our river.

It is not only the fish who jump. My heart does too as it remembers I have long days ahead that are filled with blank pages. I cannot help but twirl but it is a secret dance for with all the world seemingly asleep, only the earliest of birds can see me in my nightgown at the water’s edge, a grey haired old diva dancing for joy.

This new day has begun.

Let me not be too afraid to say that just for once, all is well.



Cait O’Connor

Percy Wakes Me

The greatest love is a mother's; then a dog's; then a sweetheart's.

Polish Proverb

If I lived in a big enough house this is (one of) the breeds of dog I would like to own, it is of course an Irish Wolfhound. Like Finn, our much loved lurcher, they are very loyal and affectionate.  Unfortunately I couldn't fit one into my wee cottage.

And talking of dogs, I promised you another favourite poem from the Mary Oliver book.

Here it is:

Percy Wakes Me


Percy wakes me and I am not ready...


Now he's eager for action:  a walk, then breakfast....

He is sitting on the kitchen counter where he is not supposed to be.

How wonderful you are, I say. How clever, if you needed me, to wake me.

He thought he would hear a lecture and deeply  his eyes begin to shine.

He tumbles onto the couch for more compliments.

He squirms and squeals; he has done something that he needed and now he hears that it's okay.

I scratch his ears, I turn him over and touch him everywhere.  He is

wild with the okayness of it.  Then we walk, then he has breakfast, and he is happy.

This is a poem about Percy.

This is a poem about more than Percy.

Think about it.



Mary Oliver

Birdwatching

Birdwatching

Martins, luck-bringing eave-dwellers,

diminished in number

are heralding summer again.

A gang of sparrows,

grown in size and confidence

play back my London childhood.

From its woodland hide

the jay ventures out,

predatory in coloured robes.

No longer so rare,

the red kite looks down;

buzzards driven far abroad.

Elegant in flight,

statuesque in my river,

the heron stands in silence.

Robin, my steadfast friend

companionable all the year

is sociable, yet always stands apart.

Lone pheasant, mate-less

escapee from death

is safe within my garden.

Dippers in their secret home

from generations past

still bring their gift of constancy.

Akin to angels and patient,

harmonious to a fault,

the gentle dove will wait.

Would hell be a birdless garden?

No birdsong

no angels in its wake;

Nature’s avian summer gone awry.

Cait O’Connor

Next poem

Foxgloves

Rebecca, our first-born,now thirty-nine

flies in to check that I am well again

and spots beside the bed the photograph

I took of you when you were carrying her

six months gone in your purple polo-neck

and blue smock, and laughing, I remember,

because I have decorated with sea pinks

your black abundant hair, and given you

foxgloves to hold as though to welcome her

to the strand at Inch and the Kerry hills.

Can you go on smiling from your dune-throne

with your hair and hands full of summer flowers?

Because the marram grass is damp and sandy

I have spread a yellow oilskin under you.

Michael Longley

A Hundred Doors

Pics and a poem

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Here is the second of the favourite poems I promised you.

How I Go to the Woods

Ordinarily I go to the woods alone, with not a single friend, for they are all smilers and talkers and therefore unsuitable.


I don't really want to be witnessed talking to the catbirds or hugging the old black oak tree. I have my way of praying, as you no doubt have yours.

Besides, when I am alone I can become invisible. I can sit on the top of a dune as motionless as an uprise of weeds, until the foxes run by unconcerned. I can hear the almost unbearable sound of the roses singing.

If you have ever gone to the woods with me, I must love you very much.



Mary Oliver
Swan

Summertime

Dear Diary,

Those who wish to sing will always find a song

Swedish Proverb

I am sorry I have been absent for so long; I am going to try and be around more. Life has the habit of getting in the way of writing and it takes up too much time and why does time go so much more quickly nowadays?

In spite of life all is well here in my little Welsh heaven; even the fish are jumping but I cannot lie and say the cotton is high. Cotton grows wild in my spiritual home across the water, up on the bogs but not around here in my little Welsh valley.

(I just love that song Summertime, perhaps I will post it for you?)

My thoughts are on all things avian this morning as our writing group ‘homework’ is to write a poem with the bird theme. I have many written in the past but had better not cheat and pull one out - instead I must try to produce something new.

My thoughts are very often on our winged neighbours but especially so at this time of year when we feel outnumbererd by the birds and the beasts who share our abode. There are birds a-plenty, I have never known so many which is very encouraging after the Big Freeze of last winter when we had temperatures of minus sixteen for many days and many of their precious little lives were lost.

So the list of birds species in the garden grows ever-longer and they all seem to take it in turns to visit the feeders, it is as if they have set ‘appointments’. Some breeds will mix happily side by side – the doves living up to their name being the gentlest and most harmonious. Some visit en famille, the woodpeckers and the nuthatches for example and their wee ones wait to be fed by their parents, their feathers quivering in anticipation, which is such a joy to watch. We have a real gang of sparrows now (we had none to speak of before) and that is also good news as they are supposed to be in decline. Sparrows were the only birds I knew really when I was growing up in London.

Feeding the birds (and the gate-crashing squirrels) may be draining our purses but is at the same time filling our hearts with gladness as we watch them from the kitchen, bedroom and parlour windows –and surely gladness is worth more than money anyway? Just one of the few things remaining that cannot (yet) be taxed or measured only in financial terms?

Before I go I must mention a couple of poetry books which I have recently enjoyed. The American poet Mary Oliver first, she is one of my very favourite poets and her book Swan is fantastic, so good I am going to have to buy a copy. I have picked four favourites to share with you but there will be just one today.

Here is a taster and as avian poems go this one is hard to beat.



The Swan

Did you too see it, drifting, all night, on the black river?


Did you see it in the morning, rising into the silvery air -


An armful of white blossoms,


A perfect commotion of silk and linen as it leaned


into the bondage of its wings; a snow bank, a bank of lilies,


Biting the air with its black beak?


Did you hear it, fluting and whistling


A shrill dark music - like the rain pelting the trees - like a waterfall


Knifing down the black ledges?


And did you see it, finally, just under the clouds -


A white cross streaming across the sky, its feet


Like black leaves, its wings like the stretching light of the river?


And did you feel it, in your heart, how it pertained to everything?


And have you too finally figured out what beauty is for?


And have you changed your life?


Mary Oliver



Books are like buses. You don’t see one you want and then three appear altogether. The other book I love is the Irish poet Michael Longley’s A Hundred Doors which a friend kindly lent me recently. I have favourites among them to share with you and will do so very soon.

Finally the great poet Graham Clifford has an excellent book out called Welcome Back to the Country. I have favourites there that I would love to let you taste in a future blog.

Shall I leave you with a song?

 
 
Bye for now,
Cait

Josephine Hart RIP

Writer Josephine Hart who died this week.

Josephine Hart's last message: 'Without reading I would have found life less bearable'

Dear Diary,

I am sorry I have not been here for so long.  I've certainly not given up this blog but just lately life has taken over a little.  I hope to be present again from now on and just had to pay tribute today to a fine writer who moved on from this world this past week.

I have copied a newspaper article from the net and below that I add some quotes.

Novelist Josephine Hart gave a powerful endorsement of the Evening Standard's campaign against illiteracy days before her death.

The writer and "visionary" poetry campaigner lived her life cherishing the power and beauty of words, and said she was delighted by the Standard's "wonderful campaign" highlighting the shocking number of children unable to read.

In a statement dictated from her hospital bed, she said: "Without reading, and for me especially poetry, I would have found life less comprehensible, less bearable, and infinitely less enjoyable. It has never let me down."

Today tributes poured in for a woman revered for her brilliance as a writer, intellect and determination to encourage children to develop an understanding of the great poets.

For two years she kept secret that she was battling primary peritoneal cancer. Even her agent Ed Victor did not know until the day before her death yesterday. He told the Standard: "She wrote one of the most stunning, dazzling, moving, powerful first novels of the last half-century.

"She wrote because she needed to write and she wrote what she wanted to write. I think her passion for literature and her passion for poetry burned with the purest flame."

She attended a Poetry Week rehearsal at the Donmar on Monday but was unable to see the sell-out shows. Lady Antonia Fraser said: "Josephine Hart was beautiful in everything she did (including how she looked) but above all there was her passionate love of beauty in language, especially poetry."

Born in Ireland, she drummed into her two sons the need to "grab life by the throat" after losing two brothers and a sister by the time she was 17.

Married to Lord Saatchi, her first novel, Damage, sold more than one million copies. It was translated into 27 languages. Jeremy Irons starred in the film version.
Here are some quotes by her:

Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.

 Josephine Hart (Damage)


 There is an internal landscape, a geography of the soul; we search for its outlines all our lives. Those who are lucky enough to find it ease like water over a stone, onto its fluid contours, and are home. Some find it in the place of their birth; others may leave a seaside town, parched, and find themselves refreshed in the desert. There are those born in rolling countryside who are really only at ease in the intense and busy loneliness of the city. For some, the search is for the imprint of another; a child or a mother, a grandfather or a brother, a lover, a husband, a wife, or a foe. We may go through our lives happy or unhappy, successful or unfulfilled, loved or unloved, without ever standing cold with the shock of recognition, without ever feeling the agony as the twisted iron in our soul unlocks itself and we slip at last into place.


— Josephine Hart


 Memory is never pure. And recollection is always coloured by the life lived since.


 Those who do not have imaginary conversations do not love.


I always recognize the forces that will shape my life. I let them do their work. Sometimes they tear through my life like a hurricane. Sometimes they simply shift the ground under me, so that I stand on different earth, and something or someone has been swallowed up. I steady myself, in the earthquate. I lie down, and let the hurricane pass over me. I never fight. Afterwards I look around me, and I say, 'Ah, so this at least is left for me. And that dear person has also survived.' I quietly inscribe on the stone tablet of my heart the name which has gone forever. The inscription is a thing of agony. Then I start on my way again.


 We learn from tragedy. Slowly.


They say that childhood forms us, that those early influences are the key to everything. Is the peace of the soul so easily won? Simply the inevitable result of a happy childhood. What makes childhood happy? Parental harmony? Good health? Security? Might not a happy childhood be the worst possible preparation for life? Like leading a lamb to the slaughter.


Lucky people should hide. Pray the days of wrath do not visit their home.



For why trap what is already trapped? It is only in flight that we know the freedom of the bird



Rest in Peace Josephine
You are free to fly now.


Bye for now,
Cait.

Humans and Avians

Dear Diary,

Just a quick post tonight.  My time is being taken up in the garden just lately. I am a fair weather gardener and the weather has been very fair so….out I have been.

I  haven’t seen any otters since the last time (see previous post) but I did see two wild ducks swimming in the river this morning which was exciting.  I stood stock still for about ten minutes on the bank and they didn’t notice me there.  Usually the ducks fly off if they catch sight of humans.  They spent a long time swimming up and down as if they were looking round our little bit of river; I got the (probably stupid) feeling that they were ‘house-hunting’ and I prayed they would like our little piece of heaven for their home.  They both ducked under the water in the end and disappeared - I like to think they went behind the old tree stump and a huge mess of branches that sits on the bank and that they are setting up home there or have done so already.  I will keep you posted.

Talking of posts I just have to post this poem for you from the new Neil Astley Bloodaxe poetry anthology Being Human.  I borrowed it from the library, it’s brand new and I am the first to borrow it but  will no doubt end up buying a copy. I already own and love Staying Alive and Being Alive.   I've only read a few pages of this one so far but have fallen in love with one poem.  I wonder if you will like it too?  It is funny (sorry that was unintentional but Funny happens to be the title) how poems still often translate so beautifully into English.  It must depend a lot on the skill of the translator I guess.   It’s funny too that the subject matter of the poem is also avian.  I shall have to read more by this poet.

Here it is.

(There is no punctuation)


Funny


What's it like to be a human
the bird asked

I myself don't know
it's being held prisoner by your skin
while reaching infinity
being a captive of your scrap of time
while touching eternity
being hopelessly uncertain
and helplessly hopeful
being a needle of frost
and a handful of heat
breathing in the air
and choking wordlessly
it's being on fire
with a nest made of ashes
eating bread
while filling up on hunger
it's dying without love
it's loving through death

That's funny said the bird
and flew effortlessly up into the air


 Anna Kamienska



Translated by Stanislaw Baranczak and Claire Cavanagh

Bye for now,
Go mbeannai Dia duit,
Cait

Nature news

Otter Swimming

paulamayberyartgallery.com

Dear Diary,

I had a wonderful experience yesterday evening, one you get not too many times in a lifetime - I saw an otter close up in our river in the daylight.  I had been out picking a few daffodils for the parlour and was pruning a few wee bits and pieces as  I made my way back indoors.  I decided to throw the very tiny clippings into the river and as I did so, on the opposite bank I spied an otter ducking and diving.   I stood still and watched it swim upstream and out of sight.  I flew excitedly indoors to tell M and as we looked out of the window a heron landed in the very same spot in the river where the otter had been.  The heron is here a lot, he is the most patient and stealthy bird as he makes his way upstream on the lookout for fish.  Every year a parent heron will bring a young one to the river, obviously teaching it how to catch fish.

I have seen otters before in the moonlight, I hear them regularly on my nightly walks and there is always otter spraint on our banks. I blogged about otters many times but I have never seen one up close in the daylight before though I have seen mink and polecats.  M has glimpsed otters in the early evening diving near our little bridge, he was struck by how huge they are, especially the dogs (males).

Tonight I decided to sit by the river and stage an otter- watch.  I have just been out at the same time as I saw the otter yesterday which was 7.30 pm.  I sat by the river partially hidden by a laurel bush but with a clear view of the river.

We have a dippers’ nest just upstream under the road bridge and  I had a very clear view of that, there is much activity there -  I believe there may be young ones in the wooden nest box.  Dippers  have nested here for generations, I  have read about them in a book written by someone who grew up here.  We are very lucky to be able to watch them in such close proximity, they are used to us and even tolerate the dogs being near them on the river ‘beach’.

I sat by the river for quite a while, all was quiet apart from the dippers flying downstream to fish and then returning to the nest, the occasional car passing by and various birds singing in the trees.  I decided to go out later when dusk is starting to descend. 

As soon as I came indoors I looked out of the cottage window and saw an unusually large bird, but not as big as a buzzard on  the little bridge so I got my binoculars out to see what it was. I think it was a kestrel and as I called M to show him, it swooped down onto the surface of the river in an attempt to catch something - obviously one of my beloved dippers.  Luckily he missed -  I hope that the dipper dove down deep into the river.  This  kestrel must have seen me go into the cottage before deciding to swoop on his prey!

So it is all happening here on the wildlife stage.  I often think that I would love to set up an infra-red night camera but they are quite expensive.

I will report back as soon as there is more news on the nature front.

Bye for now,

Cait

Positives and Revisitings

Dear Diary,

I have just heard of three recent deaths in the local area, two of which were young people, it is so sad.  Round here everyone knows everyone so any death touches the whole community.  Bad news doesn’t seem right on such a beautiful morning.  Why do such sad things have to happen and why in threes?  I can only believe they have all gone to a better place, a cliché I know but I am sure it is true.

Just for today as we say in Reiki circles I will try and dwell on the positives here on Earth.  It is a beautiful spring day and I will not tarry long as the outdoors is calling me.  I have already been out to my local garage, they did a small job on the exhaust pipe of my car and have not charged me a penny; this is the  third time they have done this sort of thing.  Isn’t it wonderful that in today’s Rip-Off Britain there are still some folk left who are not out to fleece you.  A good start to the day.

I have just re-read Colm Toibin’s Brooklyn for my book club, it was such a joy.  I am not one to re-read books very often but Toibin’s way with storytelling just flows, his writing is superb.   If you haven’t read him yet please do.  He is one of my favourite writers; I admit that so many of my faves are Irish authors, it is not bias, it is just that the Irish love words so much and weave them so well. I am now re-reading another - Annie Dunne by Sebastian Barry.  I almost bathe in his prose; I just have to stop and go back to re-read his words, they are so poetic. 

Talking of writing I have set up a blog for our writing group members as a place to post our homework and leave each other comments.  Just because I like a change I have ventured into Wordpress (ssssshhhhhh don’t tell Blogger) but although it all seems very professional I am a real Wordpress virgin still finding my way on there.  We are starting to post all our old bits of ‘homework’ and it struck me how many pieces of work are there which proves that the group is worthwhile and does indeed spur us on to write.  The blog will remain firmly private, open only to members.

I am still tired from the clocks springing forward. I can’t go to bed on time,  I can’t get up in the morning and I look like death warmed up.  I am on the genealogy trail once more, not my family but someone else’s - she has a close relative with a bit of a mysterious past.  It’s a case of burning the midnight oil with this one,  I think I should have been a detective.  My daughter is on the case too; perhaps we should set up in business…….

I received two lovely cards yesterday.  One was this picture by Gu We, a new-to-me artist, isn't it lovely when you discover a new one? I have posted one of his pics as my new header above........

and one by John Shannon, a tree-free card not this one but the one I received I can't find online.

What else am I looking forward to today on this day-off  work day? 

A CD soon arriving in the post by Gurrumul, so haunting, it reaches deep into my soul.  I have posted this before but it must be a time for revisiting,






Spending some time in the garden in the sunshine.  I have treated myself to a new garden bench - my present very cheap one is starting to crumble and the new one should be delivered soon so when I am tired from gardening I can try it out.

Reading more Annie Dunne of course, also in the sunshine, if it lasts.

Watching the birds nesting from my window;  several species are busy at the moment and I shall need to get the binoculars out.

Visiting my daughter and granddaughters later (I have to keep them supplied with reading matter).

I had better go,
Enjoy your moments today.
Go mbeannai Dia duit,
Cait.

Christy Moore - Magdalen Laundries

Words by Joni Mitchell

Magdalene Laundries